


this hurts me more than it will ever hurt you

by TenementFunster



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, I suppose?, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, set between die rise and buried
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:34:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23495377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenementFunster/pseuds/TenementFunster
Summary: Samuel Stuhlinger gives in and speaks to the voice in his head again.
Relationships: Edward Richtofen/Samuel Stuhlinger
Kudos: 17





	this hurts me more than it will ever hurt you

It had been two weeks since Samuel J. Stuhlinger had so much as acknowledged the existence of the voice in his head. The last thing he’d told the voice was how he was going to simply stop listening to it, and how he would act out the rest of his life as though he wasn’t plagued with constant intrusive thoughts. Edward Richtofen was used to being ignored for days at a time, it wasn’t anything new. He himself had remained fairly quiet for these few days, which was incredibly out of character for a man with such a short attention span. He grew impatient, however. Leaving the man alone for much longer would only benefit Maxis, he knew that.

Stuhlinger was currently seated around a small, cozy campfire, somewhere in the desolate landscape that earth had become. His three companions were sound asleep beside him. He’d been wavering in and out of consciousness for the past however long, his eyes flickering shut every now and then, only to be awoken by some unimportant noise.

“Samuel? Samuel Stuhlinger?” Richtofen began to speak.

“What?” Stuhlinger frantically looked around, frightened by the sudden reappearance of the voice in his head. “Oh no, not again.”

“Calm yourself, Samuel. We’re all friends here, are we not?”

“Uhhh. Not really, no-“

“Ahah, we have no time for petty rivalries, mein Freund.”

“We?” Stuhlinger frowned. “If you’re going to try and rope me into following orders again, it’s uh, not happening, buddy.”

“Well, I guess you won’t be wanting to restore balance to this crooked earth then, will you? I can always ask someone else to be the hero-“

“Hero, you say?” Stuhlinger was suddenly more interested in what the voice in his head had to say than ever before.

Richtofen smiled.

“You just need to convince your deaf friends to do as I say. Easy, ja?”

Samuel started mumbling to himself. It was mostly incomprehensible nonsense words. He seemed panic-stricken. Richtofen thought he’d inquire.

“What’s wrong, Sammy?”

Stuhlinger hated that name. It reminded him of being a child, a time he’d much rather stay forgotten. He hated thinking about his past so very much, especially that which Richtofen had threatened to reveal to the others. Ignoring the voice’s choice of title for him, he shook his head to attempt to clear his mind.

“I wouldn’t exactly call them uh, friends..” He answered.

“Regardless, you must do what I say in order to convince them. I fear they may still yet choose to follow Maxis and well, Maxis can be a very convincing liar - I know this firsthand.” 

Richtofen chose to store Samuel’s remark away for later rather than directly respond to it.

“Who is this Maxis fellow anyway?”

“He’s a lying, backstabbing, useless excuse for a human being.” Richtofen spoke through gritted teeth. It seemed unlikely that he would ever drop his grudge against Maxis for never mass producing the DG-2. 

He shivered at the thought of what might happen if Maxis were to win, he shivered at the thought of what would become of him, the shame he would have to endure for the rest of his sorry existence. It scared him. No, more than that - it terrified him. The almighty Edward Richtofen would never admit such a thing though, how could he say something like that aloud if he wouldn’t even admit it to himself?

Samuel stayed silent for a few moments.

“Anyway, aren’t you going to ask where I’ve been for these past few days?”

“I can see everything that you see, Sammy. I practically share your mind, you know. I see everything you see, I hear everything you say, worst of all, I even hear everything you think.”

“Y-you uh, you what?”

“I hear everything you think, Sammy. I wouldn’t say you’re too fond of me either.”

Knowing that, Samuel’s tone changed almost entirely within a few seconds.

“Oh that.. that isn’t what it seems like! It’s just friendly banter, you know? I don’t genuinely hate you!”

“Friendly banter with whom? Yourself? I think it’s become quite clear that you had no idea that I can read your mind.” 

“I’d always considered it! I had those conversations with myself just in case.”

“Why didn’t you just say it out loud?”

“I wouldn’t want the others to think I’m weird!”

“That would imply that they don’t. I’ve heard the things that Marlton says to Misty about you. Even Russman joins in sometimes, aha.” 

Samuel didn’t know what to think. He hated the idea that anyone other than himself had access to his thoughts. Those were his thoughts, not anybody else’s! He started talking directly in rebuttal to what the voice had said. That was a coping mechanism.

“So what? You’re telling me that your friends don’t think you’re weird as shit? Listen to yourself once in a while! You’re in your fifties and you act like a schoolboy, what’s it matter that mine think I’m weird because I speak to myself occasionally?”

Edward hadn’t expected any kind of response from Samuel, let alone an attack. That wasn’t something he’d really considered since leaving his own body. He used to claim that other people’s opinions of him didn’t bother him at all, but that was, to him at least, evidently a lie. He knew exactly what it was like to speak to himself, it was something he knew all too well. The voices in his own head had followed him for such a long time and they’d only grown louder and angrier with more time. But, since switching places with Samantha and entering the M.P.D on the moon, the voices had completely disappeared. It felt almost too quiet sometimes. Samuel was his only way out of this awful situation, and more importantly, his only solace. Despite having switched places and become the voice himself, he didn’t want the man to become lonely. He knew what it was like and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.

“Look, I apologise. Can we get along again now? Pretty please?” Richtofen tried not to show any sign of weakness. He hated apologising.

“Now that I think about it, what fuckin’ reason do I have to trust you? The only thing telling me to trust you is you!” Stuhlinger was starting to somewhat shout.

“Sammy.”

“This whole fuckin’ shitshow is your fault and you’re expecting me to want to fix it for you-“

“Sammy!”

“WHAT?”

“I’m asking you to help me because we share more in common than you’d think, the most important of which is that we’re both currently incredibly desperate men.” Richtofen sighed. “I need you, Sammy.”

“That almost sounded heartfelt.”

“Either we both die, or you help me out of this, ja? I think I know which one I’d prefer.”

“You ain’t the only one. God, the things I’ve done.. They’d kill me if they knew.”

“I know. That’s why you have to help me.”

“What do I have to do?”

“Nothing. Not at the moment, at least. You still have a few days of travel ahead of you, Sammy. Get some rest, you’re going to need it.”

“Uh, alright.”

Samuel didn’t expect to sleep very soundly after having just been told that Richtofen can read his every thought, he found that quite off putting. He’d try to move his mind away from anything related to current events. Instead it drifted towards memories of The Flesh, memories he wished would leave him alone.

Despite all the horrible things he’d heard Samuel think, Edward had heard the occasional friendly gesture quite often too. Usually things about how good friends they’d be if they ever met, or how well they’d get along, etc. Edward had a slightly different idea. During the time that he’d inhabited Samuel’s head, he’d found himself slowly but surely appreciating everything the man did more and more.

He watched the man finally fall asleep, disregarding anything that was on his mind. Whether Edward would admit it or not, he had fallen in love with Samuel Stuhlinger over an incredibly short amount of time. Oh, the things he’d do to that man if he were corporeal. It wasn’t as though he could tell him, though. That would probably sever their ties completely, he didn’t want that he couldn’t have that. It might as well be sentencing himself to eternal damnation.

“I’m starting to miss the other three…” He spoke to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> i miss announcer richtofen + stu. :^(
> 
> i’ll probably write another chapter to this at some point.


End file.
